About Me

‘Animal Crackers’

By

Pamela Ebel ©2018

Sol Sibelsky parked his bike in the lot of the University of Pittsburg’s Rehabilitation and Physical Therapy outpatient clinic and checked his watch.  Today he and his fellow classmates  in the graduate rehab program, were wrapping up their internship hours. That afternoon they would learn of placements that would start their professional careers.

“Good morning handsome. I was wondering if you were going to make it to the meeting on time for a change.” 

Sally Carson, working the main check-in desk this morning, smiled brightly at Sol. They had dated over the six years in the program, but since Sol planned to work out of the country soon and Sally had made it clear that she needed to stay in Pittsburg to be near her mother, they agreed anything permanent was highly unlikely.

“Hello Ms. Carson. And I was only late for one meeting, the day my bike tire blew out. Besides, I wouldn’t want to miss the assignment announcements.”

“I know you’ve been waiting for this. I assume you are still looking at an Olympic overseas position?” 

“And I assume you are still hoping to get into Pittsburgh’s Children’s Hospital now that they’re  partnering with the Shriners Hospital for Children in Erie.” 

They smiled, then Sol looked at his watch again.

“I’d better check up on a couple of patients before the meeting. I’ll see you in there.”

“Whoa, not so fast. You had a phone call about an hour ago from John May in New Orleans. He asked you to get back to him when you came in. I hope I can meet him and Elvira and the rest of the Retired Circus Performers Training School someday.”

“I hope so too Sally. I wouldn’t have been able to attend this university without Mr. May and the New Orleans Turners chapter giving me the scholarship seven years ago. That summer working with Elvira the elephant and Poodles the pig and all of the other retired circus animals was the start of my career. Let me see what he wants. See you at the meeting.”

Sol took the note, squeezed Sally’s hand, and headed for the locker room. He changed into his scrubs and placed the call.

“Good morning, Sol. Thanks for getting back to me so soon. I know you’re busy finishing your internship. How are things going up there?”

“Fine Mr. May. This afternoon we’re going to discuss our requested assignments.”  

“Are you’re still planning on getting a position overseas? We’d love to have you back with us but I know how it is to be young and want to travel.” 

“It’s what I’ve been working toward all these years. I have my fingers crossed. There’s nothing wrong, I hope. You’re okay and the staff and crew, and Elvira and Poodles?”

“We’re all fine. My call does have to do with the circus though. Are you familiar with the Shriners Sol?”

“Not really. My great-uncle Clarence was a member,  but neither my grandfather nor my dad belonged. Why do you ask?”

“Many Turners are also Shriners. Because we have similar missions, we try to help each other out. The Potentate of the Shriner’s Syria Mosque in Pittsburgh called me earlier today. Their annual circus fundraiser is in two weeks. Three of their aerialists were injured in a fall. They need replacements for them and someone who can do the balance beam. I can send Tye, Crocker, and Eric up if you can cover the beam work. I know its short notice, but it will be a real attendance problem if they don’t have ‘the man on the flying trapeze’ element. Particularly, since they can’t use animals.”

Sol’s mind was racing over the calendar of responsibilities he had going on for the next two weeks when he remembered he wouldn’t have any responsibilities but for Mr. May and the Turners.

“Okay. I’ll go to the Syria Mosque todayand see what I can do to get things going. And just to be sure I understand, they won’t use animals?”

“They have no animals to use. A smaller circus had planned to lend their animals, but now the owners are afraid for their safety because of animal rights activists. The protesters want the use of all animals, banned. Their tact currently,  is to get the use of training and control objects like hooks, prods, whips and the like banned. A state court judge in Pittsburg  has given the Syria Shriners a one year injunction against the city’s ordinance banning training/control equipment while they fight it in court. But some have continued to threaten to disrupt the circus. Really sad, but things change don’t they son? Even when it’s the right idea based on the wrong information.”

“Didn’t these groups ended up getting sued in court by Ringling?” 

“Yes. Over a fifteen year period the Humane Society, PETA and several other animal rights groups have been convicted under the RICO statute. They had to pay around 20 million to the circuses. But they are still at it. They pressured Nabisco into changing the layout on the animal crackers boxes they’ve used for one hundred and sixteen years. It’s making fund raising for the Shriner’s Children’s Hospitals difficult. But there is nothing we can do. "    

Sol heard Elvira trumpet. 

“Mr. May, can I speak with Elvira please?”

“No problem. Ms. E come talk to Sol.”

“Hello Elvira. How have you been?”

He heard a deep snort and then the trumpet and he could hear her trunk brush the phone.

“I need to ask you a question and a favor. And it includes Poodles and the others.” 

With that call the dye was cast.

Several hours before the intern meeting, Sol decided to go the Syria Mosque. He was directed to the office of Harry Tapper the Circus Chairman. 

“The rigging for trapeze is checked several times a day during rehearsals. Everything was fine when they broke for lunch two days ago. They returned and Jack, Peter and Colin went up the rope. They were just starting to rehearse the change offs when the rigging came apart. Thank God the net was up, but Peter’s arm got caught in the trapeze bar and tore his shoulder and Colin and Jack both fell near the net’s edge damaging their wrists.”

“What did the investigation about the rigging failure turn up?” 

Tapper turned in his chair to look out the window. 

“We didn’t have security on site during the lunch break. We think some of the protestors that were outside sabotaged the rigging. OSHA will investigate but they can’t come until the day before we open and the area is roped off. I know John May has offered to send aerialists, but I can’t promise they’ll be safe and we don’t have any more rigging gear.”

Sol excused himself and went out in the hall for a quick call to May, Tye, Crocker, and Eric. 

“Are you guys sure you want to chance this?”

“What do you think Sol? We’re circus people with a mission and no misguided group of nutcases is going to shut us down. It doesn’t make sense that you would injure humans to supposedly protect animals.  We’ll pack the RV, hook up the trailer and be on our way soon. So, book it bro’, the Circus Marines are on the way. We’re bringing our gear, will set it up ourselves and take care of guarding it.” 

Tye was using his Marine Corp Drill Sargent voice. Sol knew better than to argue.

“Okay Mr. Tapper the Turners’ best circus entertainers are on their way. I mentioned your fears but they say they can handle it. They’re  retired Marines. Not much scares them”

Tapper’s face lit up.

“I can’t thank you enough. Hopefully we can convince the animal vendor that things will be okay.”

Sol biked back to the clinic and headed for the locker room when another graduate student stopped him.

“Hey friend. Did you get the news?  Dr. Brewster has rescheduled the internship assignment meeting until next Thursday. Seems some of the possible employers didn’t have all of their paperwork done. We all have another few days to sweat over this situation.”

After a brief moment of disappointment Sol smiled,  took out his cell phone and called Turner headquarters. Time to get the wheels rolling.

Tye, Crocker, and Eric arrived the Friday after Sol’s visit to the Syria Mosque. A former Marine buddy let them set up the rigging in the large gym at the high school where he was principal. They rehearsed and worked tirelessly with the gymnastics teams from several schools in the area as a gift from the Turners to the Shriners. The trio slept in the RV and took shifts watching the equipment.

Sol spent time infiltrating the protestors when he wasn’t practicing on the balance beam. The leaders finally agreed that while they wanted to free all of the animals from ‘bondage’, if there were some that worked without the presence of the ‘tools of harm and pain’ then, considering the purpose was to raise money for the Shriners Children’s Hospital, they would keep the protest small. and non-confrontational. They also grinned, stating with confidence that no such circus animals existed. 

On the Friday before the opening the private vendor announced they didn’t feel their animals would be safe in the environment that continued to roil around the gates of the PPG Paint Arena where the circus was to be held. 

The Syria Shriners voted to go on with the Saturday events, including a carnival with rides and other attractions and musical events. The ticket sales for the Sunday Shrine Circus was a bone of contention. 

Sol and John May argued that the positive publicity and good will the Turners’ work with the local high schools had garnered, would be enough to insure a safe environment for the performers. The board finally voted to proceed with the circus.

On Saturday afternoon, as the first day of the program was winding down Chairman Tapper and the Grand Potentate and the other board members appeared on the main stage to introduce some of the acts that the public would see the next day. The Turners, including Sol, astounded the crowd doing a classic, flawless floor routine to the Beatle’s ‘Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite’. The fire eaters, bicyclists and the clowns, delighted one and all. 

While the featured acts roamed through the crowd the sound of a train’s whistle blew loudly behind the stage. This usually announced the arrival of cargo trains. However, when this train stopped the whistle continued to blow. 

Suddenly the cargo doors to the rail tracks opened and a circus calliope appeared, drawn by four white Arabian stallions, and moved down to the arena. 

As the crowd looked on in stunned silence the Ring Master appeared by the calliope. She raised her cane, and nodded. The calliope’s steam engine roared to life and Julius Feick’s famous “Entry of the Gladiators” flowed over the audience who sent up a great shout.

Then as the horses moved slowly around the arena more shouts of delight went up as the freight car door opened again. Elvira appeared in all of her ostrich feather covered glory. Sol walked up and bowed to her as she raised her trunk in a mighty trumpet and came down the walkway with Poodles the Pig next to her. They moved into the arena without a handler in sight. No prods, hooks, whips, or chairs were to be seen. 

Behind them came the ponies with their Simian riders who had complete control of the reins. Then Mai ii’ soh, the Wolf, walked in with Richard Grey Wolf of the Dine’. The two lived in New Mexico and traveled extensively , to dispel the myths about Wolves, and to lobby to protect them from hunters. 

And so, it went as a vast variety of animals disembarked from three freight cars and did a traditional circus parade stroll around the arena with their human friends at their sides using hand gestures only. 

A few protesters attempted to disrupt the proceedings but were quickly silenced when Elvira and Mai ii’ soh looked in their direction. 

Chairman Tapper announced that because of the generosity of the Turners Society of New Orleans the traditional circus would go on Sunday and there were still tickets for the event. 

The calliope turned and led the procession back out to the staging area. Protestors who complained that all of the animals would have to spend hours crammed together in the train cars were quickly silenced when they saw four large circus tents. 

Each was air conditioned. In the largest of them Elvira and Poodles and the monkeys were settled in around the television watching reruns of ‘Blue Bloods’. In another smaller tent the Dine’ from the area had come to visit with Grey Wolf,  Mai ii’ soh and representatives of federal agencies who were discussing ways to keep Wolves and other native players on the endangered species list.

The next day the circus, sold out by word of mouth and TV and radio coverage, went on to do two shows. All of the animals entertained working only with hand signals. Elvira, particularly attuned to children with special needs, always made her way to their seating area to shake hands and pass out boxes of animal crackers, one of her and Ms. Poodle’s favorite snacks. A note she would give to one of the children read “We Work for Animal Crackers!”

Sol and ‘the men on the flying trapeze’ went through their paces without a hitch. He had invited Sally and the rest of the interns and his former and current patients to attend. They were amazed by the whole show. 

On Monday morning, like all good circuses, the Turners’ folded its’ tents and boarded the train heading south, after Sally had a good bye visit with Elvira and Poodles and Sol had a private visit with John May.

On Thursday Sol joined the other interns at the rescheduled meeting with  Dr. Brewster, who smiled at the anxious faces as he handed out the assignment letters. Whoops and hollers arose as they opened their envelopes. Sally’s smile meant that she had her placement right in Pittsburg. 

Sol, looking over Dr. Brewster’s shoulder at several plaques and photos, realized that his clinic mentor was a Shriner. The chairman looked at him.

“Sol is there something wrong? You can’t be disappointed since you haven’t opened the envelope yet.” 

“I’m assuming that you were able to get me that placement in Italy I was hoping for?”

“I did indeed. And everyone on the Olympic staff there is really pleased to have you join them.”

“Then I hate to disappoint you and the committee. I’ve decided my calling is somewhere else. I contacted the Shriner’s Children’s Hospital in Shreveport, Louisiana. They have an opening and I have accepted it.”

Everyone looked at Sol like he had been taken over by a zombie, except for Dr. Brewster.

“I was there for the circus Sol. I talked with John May, who asked my permission to approach you about the Syria Mosque’s efforts to help the staff at the Shreveport hospital fill their rehab position. You’re a Turner son. I suspect you’ll soon to be a Shriner. I think you’re making the right decision. Now, I believe we have a celebratory lunch to go to.”

Dr. Brewster led the interns out of his office. Starting to follow them Sol saw a photo on the wall of a young Dr. Brewster standing in front of the Al Haram Mosque in Saudi Arabia and below it the in big bold letters were the words ‘All Roads Lead to Mecca.’ Sol smiled and closed the door.  

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